It’s not YOU, it’s ME!

It’s not you, it’s me.

BULL. SHIT.

You’re as much a part of it as the other person. That’s just a cop out line used by someone when they don’t have the balls to be honest with you entirely. Before you start thinking, geez, way to make us feel good Nik…read on!

I share this with you from a space of love sister, as I truly want you to have SUCCESS when it comes to finding love, and I see it as my job to tell you the stuff that no one else is going to tell you, but which is going to actually HELP you to get what you want, not stuck wondering what’s wrong with you

The shit thing about this line is that all it does is leave the receiver wondering what the fuck went wrong?!

Either that, or they remain deluded to the fact that they played any part in that relationship not working, so then just go on and make the same mistakes again.

Yes. Sometimes it can be true. It can simply be that the guy you’ve been seeing just simply isn’t ready for what you want. However even then, you still attracted him in, so you played a part.

It’s up to you whether or not you own that though. It is often much easier to bury our head in the sand and play the helpless victim.

But what good comes from that? Sweet FA!

We end up repeating the same shitty patterns. The same thing happens, either directly or indirectly, and we wind up back at square one feel deflated and disempowered.

No thanks Bob. Imma choose me some FEMPOWER right now!

You see, in any given moment we are offered choices.

In this situation, we have the choice to remain ignorant, playing the role of the damsel who does no wrong yet never seems to be able to get the guy.

OR.

We can bring some awareness to the fact that we are the common denominator, choose radical self responsibility, look at what’s going on with us and choose to do something different.

HELLO FEMPOWER!!

So, next time someone says to you…”it’s not you, it’s me” stop them in their tracks and call bullshit in their bullshit, then have an open and honest conversation about the truth of why it didn’t work out. You can then hug it out and go your seperate ways feeling empowered and excited for what’s next.

If you call bullshit and they still won’t be honest with you, then walk away and ask yourself, how did I show up in that relationship (and be fucking honest with yourself cos if you bullshit yourself, nothing is going to change) and what needs to change within me to ensure that the next one is the keeper.